By the time you read this, the spell of remarkably warm spring weather we have enjoyed for a continued period may well have disappeared.That’s what it’s like for us here in the UK – and especially in Scotland. Other countries have climates; we have weather!
There’s a good chance, however, that it will still be warm, sunny and beautiful – because this is exam time! This is what I decided, many years ago, to call “exam weather.” Highers, Advanced Highers and National 5 exams are taking place in Scottish schools; finals and other end-of-year exams are taxing students in universities. Some candidates are in the midst of International Baccalaureate (IB) assessments. Further south, pupils are revising in preparation for their A-levels.
Do you remember what it was like to be taking your public exams? I do. May 3 was the day of the Higher English exam; it was also my then-boyfriend’s birthday. As we took a walk to the Botanic Gardens between the morning paper and the afternoon paper (I know: they’re both in the morning nowadays), I remember thinking how rotten it was for him to have an exam on his birthday.
And I remember thinking what a waste it seemed, to have so much beautiful weather and not be able to enjoy it because we were so busy revising and then sitting exams. I remember the utter misery of anticipating my finals and turning up for each one.
Read more: “Whatever your concern about your child, we’re here to help”
The passage of time can alter the way we think we experienced things. Richard Adams (author of Watership Down) writes about this:
“When an enterprise has turned out successfully we not only forget, in retrospect, the anxieties, disappointments and costly mistakes; we also forget that we were not aware, then, that we were going to win. In memory, the whole mood changes and our recollections become like a story we have read before and whose ending we know.”
Let’s not underestimate the stress that exam candidates are feeling at the moment. To them, there seems to be so much riding on the outcome of these tests that it can be difficult to see beyond them.
And “what if I fail?”
How can you help someone in your life who is in that situation? Striking a balance – particularly with teenagers – can be difficult. It’s important simply to be there for them – bringing hot or cold drinks and snacks as they revise; but equally it’s important not to disturb them if they just want to get on with it alone in their rooms.
Good news: chances are, if it’s your own young person, you know them better than most people and can read the signs (literal or in body language) which tell you what would be appreciated! Just listening to the exam candidate’s worries can be helpful. Don’t feel you have to rush in with reassurance. Recognise how they’re feeling. Be realistic: don’t say, “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be all right” – it might not be. Emphasise the positive: “You’ve worked really hard for this; it will be worth it.”
And if your young person dwells on the possibility of failure, talk through the options with him or her (briefly): “maybe you’ll decide on a different direction next academic year” or “perhaps you’ll decide to re-sit one or more of your exams” and “whatever happens, I’ll be here to support you.” As one of my favourite fictional characters memorably said, “There are always alternatives.”
Good luck, exam candidates! And well done, supportive parents, family, friends and teachers.
